Ny Chinese Restaurant

Doesn't Recommend

joe t.

Joined 1 year ago

Foul, Foul, Fowl (The Beef was Gross Too). I consider myself an indiscriminate lover of Chinese food. I'm not super picky, and love most Asian cuisine. After visiting Clermont's “NY Chinese Restaurant”, however, I am indiscriminate no more.

The "food" dispensed at this Citrus Tower Blvd. restaurant was perhaps the most disappointing I've ever had the displeasure of ingesting.

Do you like General Tso's Chicken? Imagine several scoops of melting wood putty globs coated liberally with a slimy film of gelatinous soy sauce.

Beef and Broccoli more your style? Hopefully you also crave the savory flavor of stagnant municipal tap water, which--judging by the smell and taste of the dish--was the chef's marinade of choice. A quarter cup of this swampy swill was served up inside the container, and--like a rancid aquifer--served to keep the meat so soggy that it hardly required chewing.

The Crab Rangoons were the least repulsive foodstuff in my order (which, of course, isn't saying much), though the namesake is deceiving: the cheap cream-cheese filling had zero smack of anything sea-borne at all.

The only serving I’d classify as palatable was the prepackaged fortune cookie whose ominous message of “A new adventure is on the way” was likely a reference to the gastrointestinal repercussions I’ll endure in approximately 24 hours.

All in all, if I were to rate this restaurant on a “Chinese Export-Scale Index” with 1 being ‘Child Labor Laws’ and 10 being ‘Jeremy Lin’, I’d give them a solid 3—placing them squarely between ‘Lead-Laced Toddler Toys’ and ‘Toxic Drywall’ (the latter of which may’ve actually been a staple ingredient).

Please don’t let the overstated nature of this review obscure the sincerity of my feelings…this place was truly horrible.